Ad-free news, views and advice on the local wedding scene for Canberra ACT and nearby NSW, and on getting married in Australia in general. With Michele Bolitho, registered civil marriage celebrant for well over one thousand wonderful weddings. ... Your day is my focus. That's my promise. It's my pleasure.

31 December 2016

Fathers and daughters, families and friends

Hello, and welcome

In my last blogpost for the year, I usually choose a very special photo. This year it’s an image of my grand-niece Emily who married Matt at the family farm in Green Pigeon (near Kyogle) on September 10 this year. She's standing with stallion, Karnak.
Emily with Karnak
I love this photo because it looks like it came from a fairy tale. Emily and Mat’s wedding was a wonderful country-style celebration, held on a perfect day in a setting that had taken my nephew Damien over a year to prepare. It all came together on the day in a spectacularly successful way.

Here’s to the fathers

One of my most favourite things at weddings is to watch the face of a father as he accompanies his daughter to her wedding. These days, both parents may walk in with the bride, or perhaps another person who is special to the bride. My favourites though are still the fathers, so much so, that when our elder daughter Lucy was being married and she asked if I may like to ‘walk down the aisle’ with her and her Dad in the Rose Gardens at Old Parliament House, I thanked her for the loving thought, but chose to watch the two of them instead.

Here’s a photo of Damien, as he walks in with his Emily. Their photographer Chaddy, has captured exactly the look that I so love to see.
Emily walks along the aisle with her father, Damien
Green Pigeon NSW    10 September 2016
The service I provide

My Simple Service serves a growing need for short simple wedding ceremonies, which I refer to as ‘beautifully simple and simply beautiful’.

Emily and Matt make their vows of marriage
in a simple, heart-felt ceremony
Many couples have always wanted a short simple wedding ceremony. Many others, as I hear these days, have watched friends of theirs as they prepare for a big traditional wedding. Seeing all the stress and drama involved makes their own choice easy. They want their own wedding to be small and simple. That’s where I come in.

There are no Registry Office weddings in the ACT. Many registry-style weddings are held in my garden. It's available on any weekdays, for up to a dozen guests max. You’d be so welcome to hold your small wedding in my tranquil romantic Heart Garden.
Celebrant and Grand Aunt
Michele with Grand Uncle David
at Matt and Emily's wedding.


I’m available as celebrant for simple weddings, of any size, at any time (day or night) on any day (weekday, weekend or public holiday) in any other location you choose.

As from the end of this year, I will no longer offer the full service, in which I help couples craft a totally unique wedding ceremony. My writing career is building up and I want to put more of my time and energy into that. I’m sad to be leaving my full service behind as it’s brought me lots of pleasure and satisfaction over many years.

Another ending

There’s been another ending that I had no hand in. Since I began this blog in 2009, I’ve always had a slideshow of great wedding images. It’s now gone. Google simply dispensed with all slideshows in Blogger blogs a few months ago.

If you’re doing a search from my Search Box, you may find earlier blogposts with references to the slideshow that I used to love adding to, every time I published a new post. In the new year, I plan to find another way to put a slideshow back in. After all these years, I may make a move to Wordpress.
Update: I've just found the archive of my blog album on Google photos. If you love looking at wedding photos (as I do) here's the link. I took most of the photos in my garden.

Weddings in my Heart Garden

Helen and Carson married in
The Heart Garden
on 8 December 2016
My beautiful Heart Garden has hosted twenty-six wonderful weddings this year. I already have several booked for 2017 and every year, the garden just grows lovelier and lovelier.


As always, so much of my celebrant income goes into new plantings and maintenance, keeping the garden well-fed and cared for. The garden responds so generously to all my TLC. I think you’ll feel this when you visit. By the way, it’s often the special feel of the garden that visitors mention to me, along with their kind comments on its beauty.

As I finish blogging for the year, I send you my best wishes for a very happy holiday season, leading into a marvellous 2017 for us all. If 2017 is the year you choose to marry, I’d love to be there for you both, at that most significant and memorable occasion in your life together.

Please visit my enquiry page to send me an email.
Or phone me any day 9am to 9pm on 0406 376 375.
Or send me a text.
Or message me on my Michele the Celebrant facebook page.

We can arrange a Skype meet if you wish.

Amidst lots of fun and laughter, following the wedding of Alicia and Dave at the National Rose Gardens at Old Parliament House on Thursday 29 December, the newlyweds kindly made me a testimonial. I've put together a short story of their wedding, including their testimonial, on YouTube.
(Their wedding car was fabulous!)


Thanks Dave and Alicia, for ending 2016 on such a high and happy note!

Sincerely
Michele

09 November 2016

When are the magic moments of marriage?

Hello, and welcome
Paul and Kara married on a warm spring day at Rose Cottage, Tuggeranong
Saturday 15 October 2016
Of course marriage has many magic moments, especially in the early days. That’s between the two of you. What I’m referring to here are the magical, life-changing moments that your marriage actually and legally comes into effect. (Even if you want a really ‘low key’ wedding, there’ll still be a significant change in status.)

When do you think that time is?
A When you say ‘I do’?
B When your celebrant pronounces you ‘husband and wife’?
C When you sign your certificates?
D When you marriage is registered with the Registrar?
E  None of the above.

The most popular answer is probably C When you sign your certificates, but this isn’t right. Your three certificates of marriage will state that a legal marriage has already been solemnised. The certificate you’ll take home with you on the day (which, if I’m your celebrant, I’ll prepare in the font of your choice) states:
I (celebrant) having authority under the Marriage Act 1961 to solemnise marriages, hereby certify that I have this day at (location) duly solemnised marriage in accordance with the provisions of that Act between (bride and groom) in the presence of the undersigned witnesses.
Vicki married Quintin
in the Heart Garden
Friday 14 October 2016
 A is a popular answer as well. When you say ‘I do’. This is correct but it’s not always possible.
I’ll explain: In Australia, you can only use classic ‘I do’ vows of marriage in church (or other religious setting).

Your religious celebrant can ask you: ‘Do you take this person to be your husband/wife?’ And you can say ‘I do’. Then you are legally married. If you get married by a civil celebrant however, this is not possible.

The Australian government does not allow ‘I do’ marriage vows in civil ceremonies. You must state your legal name in your marriage vow and your celebrant can’t do this for you. (They can say your name in a vow for you to repeat, but you must state your name yourself to make your marriage legal.)

The most applicable answer then, to When do you think your marriage actually and legally comes into effect? would be E None of the above.

Your vows of marriage, to be legal and binding, whether in a church, a garden or anywhere else, must come after what’s called the monitum. This is when your celebrant declares the present nature of marriage in Australia. That is - it’s voluntary, exclusive and permanent between a man and a woman. Or between a woman and a man, if you both want this option instead.

Before you make your vows of marriage, your celebrant must also state their legal name and role in front of at least two adult witnesses. As well, they must declare that they’re authorised (or legalised) to perform your marriage ceremony. Again, you can have an option here for your celebrant to say ‘authorise’ or ‘legalise’.

At the end of your ceremony, you may choose to have your celebrant pronounce that you are now husband and wife. Even though your celebrant may imply that ‘with the power vested in me’ they’re making your marriage happen, this pronouncement is completely optional. It’s not a legal requirement.

When your celebrant pronounces you ‘husband and wife’, your marriage is already in legal effect. Then you sign three certificates which certify this fact. Your celebrant signs these three certificates and so do both of you, and your two adult witnesses. Note here that your witnesses can be any adults with a good command of English. If they’re related to you, that’s not a problem.

After your wedding, your celebrant has 14 days to send your papers to the Registrar in the state or territory in which you were married. If something terrible happened to your paperwork, this would not effect the legality of your marriage.
 
Michele, with Amy after her marriage to Tim
at the Canberra Southern Cross Club Yatch Club
22 October 2016
You can apply for an official certificate of marriage from the Registrar as soon as you are wed.

When your paperwork has been processed at the Registrar’s Office you can buy your certificate. Again this will say that a marriage was solemnised (aka legalised) on a certain date at a certain place. You will need this certificate for all official purposes, such as changing your driver’s licence, for work records, or for getting a new passport.

The certificate you receive at your wedding is your personal certificate only. But just because you can’t use your personal certificate for official purposes, this doesn’t mean that it’s not a totally legal document. Your personal certificate will have a unique number on the back and that number will be on the record with the Attorney-General.
When Steve and Michelle were married in the Heart Garden, Steve just couldn't stop smiling!
Friday 4 Novermber 2016
So when are the magical moments of marriage?

Only you two know the intimate answer to this. But when we’re talking about the precise time that your legal marriage takes place, here is the final answer:

It’s when you make your vows of marriage to one another. If you’re in church, the magical moments may be when you each say ‘I do’. If you’re not in church, you legally marry with your vows of marriage to each other, as prescribed by the Australian Marriage Act of 1961.

The pronouncement by your celebrant at the end of your ceremony of ‘husband and wife’ (if you choose to have this) confirms that a legal marriage is already in effect. So do your three certificates of marriage with their five signatures. So does the official certificate you buy from the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Chris and Lis had a small quiet family wedding
in the Heart Garden
Monday 10 October 2016
By the way, if you’re thinking of changing your name with marriage, this other significant change in your life also comes into legal effect when you’re looking into each other’s eyes and making your vows of marriage.

You don’t need authorisation from the Registrar after your marriage to change your legal name. You may however, need this official evidence from the Registrar for work records, driver’s licence, passport and so on.

Choosing your celebrant

If you’d like me to be your celebrant, I’d be delighted to be there for you at this most significant event in your life together. By law, you’d need to give me at least one month’s notice. You can do this in person, by email, or by text. When you contact me, I’ll explain how to make your wedding happen ASAP. If there’s no hurry, we can have a one-hour meeting together (in Weston) on a Monday or Wednesday evening.

Please contact me by email, or by phone or text on 0406 376 375. If you have questions, please feel free to ask. We can arrange a Skype meet if you wish, with or without video. (No obligation implied here to choose me to be your celebrant.)
Vicki, Quintin and Michele
 
My fee is $500 for a ‘simply beautiful, beautifully simple’ wedding in my lovely romantic Heart Garden or any other location you both choose. At the end of this year, my full service, in which I give lots of help to craft a longer, more individualised ceremony, will come to an end. My simple service that’s a lovely alternative to a registry office wedding, will continue to be available. On my Fee page, you’ll find info on what’s included in the Simple (but still special) Service, and my Full Service as well.

Sincerely

Michele

25 August 2016

How to add warmth and friendliness to your legal vows of marriage

Hello, and welcome.
Jia and Ben married in the autumn Heart Garden 6 May 16
This blogpost is about:
  • Your legal marriage vows
  • When does marriage legally come into effect?
  • Legal name change
The green room, set up for a small private winter wedding. Bride and groom stand in the bay window.
Your legal marriage vows

As you may or may not know, we have no registry office weddings in the ACT. Couples who are looking for a registry-style wedding often want the shortest, simplest ceremony possible. I’ve been celebrant at hundreds of short simple weddings so I know it’s a popular choice. 

If a short and simple ceremony is what you both choose, then you’ll probably only want to make legal vows of marriage, rather than adding personal pledges to each other as well.

If you opt for legal vows only, you will probably want them to sound warm and heartfelt, rather than the cool, compulsory wording of a legal contract, straight off the Attorney General’s website. Here are some ideas to help you achieve this desire. 

Michelle married James at the National
Carillon on a sunny autumn morning
14 May 2016
If you want your marriage to be legal – and of course, you do – then your vows of marriage must comply with the Australian Marriage Act of 1961. They must be legal but they need not be legalistic. They can sound intimate and heartfelt. (Having said that, I am also aware that keeping your vows strictly traditional can also sound warm and moving when you add your loving feeling to the words.)

Here’s the vow as it appears in the Marriage Act: “I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband)”; or words to that effect.

You’ve probably heard this legal vow many times over at the weddings of friends and family. It can sound rather dull and same old, same old.

The option to make your vows warm, fresh and friendly lies in or words to this effect. You won’t have free choice here however, to choose words that you personally decide mean much the same thing.

The words to this effect are set strictly by the Commonwealth Attorney-General. Problem is, as I see it, few celebrants explain all the wording options that are legally available to couples getting married in Australia.

It’s fairly common knowledge I think, that you won’t have to use the old-fashioned thee in your vows. You can say you instead. But did you also know that there are several variations on all persons here present?

You can say all people here present. This is a bit more 21st-century but there are two more modern options that may surprise you. You can say everyone here or say everybody here in place of all persons here present.

Michelle makes her vow of marriage to James
Compare I call upon the persons here present to witness with I ask everyone here to witness. See what I mean about warmer, fresher and more friendly?

And then, to everyone here, you can add our families and friends. Note here however that you can’t say our families and friends instead of all persons here present or the like, but you can add it in.

When does marriage legally come into effect?

And here’s another fact you may not be familiar with:

Your legal marriage takes effect when you make your vows, not with the signing of certificates. In my many years as of experience as a civil marriage celebrant, I’ve found this is a very common misunderstanding. Your certificates will state that a legal marriage has already taken place.

Mae and Rhuanie in the winter Heart Garden.
We had the ceremony and signing inside, in the cosy green room.
22 July 2016
Before you, your witnesses and your celebrant all sign your three certificates of marriage, you are already legally married. This means that if anything happens to your paperwork it won’t affect the legality of your marriage.

Good to know this, yes?

Legal name change

You may also like to know that if you plan to change your name with marriage, this change also happens when you make your vows of marriage to each other during your ceremony. That’s all there is to the legal process of name change.  

The bride can take the surname of the groom, the groom can take the surname of the bride, or you can join your surnames together. The choice is yours.

You may choose to be presented by your celebrant at the end of your ceremony with your new names, like Aaron and Kelly, Mr and Mrs Stanton. Or Kelly and Aaron Stanton. This option is legal, whether you have signed during a break in the ceremony itself or the signing happens after your ceremony ends.

When you are signing your certificates, you already have your new legal name. You must however, sign the three certificates of marriage with your usual signature (or pre-marriage name). From then on, you can use your new signature.

Naw Be and Eh Keh married in their
Gungahlin home. 12 June 2016
Soon after your wedding, you will probably want to order a transcript of your official certificate from the Registrar in the territory or state where you were married. You will need this documentation to prove your change of name for any official purpose, such as changing your driver’s licence or getting a new passport.

You may like to use my Search box to read about things like free wedding venues in Canberra, or see what I've written about a venue you have in mind for your wedding. On August 1, Google stopped Blogger access to all Picasa album images, and I always used to use Picasa. I'm sad to see so many dull empty boxes in my older blogposts, in place of my beautiful photos.

If you love wedding photos (as I do) you may like to visit one of my collections. Here's a link to one of my archive albums. I've just revisited this album for old time's sake. Some of the images are just gorgeous. They no longer appear in blogposts.

If you would like me to be your celebrant

     If you would like me to be your celebrant, I'd be delighted. Please contact me by filling in this Email Contact Form, or by phone or text to 0406 376 375, anytime on any day between 9am and 9pm. We can text, phone, email, use facebook messages, or talk on Skype if you wish.
     By the way, I've just been corresponding with Ms Rose at Polka Dot Bride (with whom I have no commercial connection). It's a great resource site, run by lovely people. I recommend it. 

Sincerely
Michele